About five years ago, in one of my “why can’t I find a good
man” phases, I came across the Extraordinary Women series on PBS. The episode was a biography on Coco Chanel,
and what struck me, as I watched, was how she struggled finding a happy,
lasting relationship. Of course, she
lived in the 1920s, when women were still defined as “Mrs. Husband,” so she couldn’t
be successful without a husband.
I then remembered an autobiography I read years ago about
Myrna Loy. She’s most famous for being
Mrs. Nora Charles, the wife of famous detective Nick Charles (played by William
Powell) in The Thin Man movie series. I
had plucked it from the library at random, but now The Thin Man is one of my
favorite movies. However, what I
remember most about her autobiography was that after four marriages and four
divorces, she realized that she was happiest single. Of course, it was a lot easier to be a single
woman in the 1960s when you were a Hollywood legend, but it struck me that once
again, a successful, smart, independent woman….didn’t need a husband.
So why on earth was I, a career focused, independent, self-sufficient
woman in the 21st century, judging myself for not getting married
and having kids? Why did I think there
was something wrong with me, instead of looking at the mirror and realizing
that I was living the life that Coco Chanel and Myrna Loy and Grandma Westphal wished
they could have lived? I mean, Coco
Chanel and Myrna Loy were exceptional, successful women. Maybe my husband struggles were more a
reflection of my exceptionalism instead of my failure.
Of course, it would take another bad relationship for me to
truly accept that about myself, but hey, we’re all human. And I’m GenX, the girls who were taught they
could be astronauts and politicians, but also were expected to find the time to
date, get married, have children, go to yoga, join a book club…..
Oh, right, book club.
After this awakening, I decided that I needed to be reading more
biographies of exceptional people, and last month, I went down to Chicago to meet
Adam Rippon, the hilariously funny openly gay Olympic bronze medal winning figure
skater turned YouTube talk show host. If
Adam isn’t exceptional, I don’t know anyone who is. It was a book signing for his autobiography,
Beautiful on the Outside, and I brought it with me to New York as a fun read.
That's not a photo from NYC, but it's still a good book
Adam had said during the question and answer session that he
picked moments of his life that were relatable to everyone, and there were
several times where I’m thinking, “wait, that happened to me.” Maybe not hopping a subway in France to buy a
shirt at H&M during a competition, but definitely the multiple hour breakup
conversation.
While reading Adam’s book, I decided to challenge myself to
read a biography (preferably, an autobiography) every month. Typically, biographies are written about
people with exceptional lives, and often, these exceptional people weren’t
successful fitting into societial norms.
Actresses and activists, heroes and nonconformists, they remind us that
it is okay to be different, that being “different” might mean being
extraordinary. And maybe, help us find
that exceptional voice inside ourselves, because we are all exceptional.
Which is why I’m starting the Exceptional People Biography
Book Club for Exceptional People. Every
month, I’ll post on my Instagram a short review of the biography I’ve read. I’m also very open to suggestions of good biographies
and autobiographies. Who has inspired
you? What story moved you so much that
it changed your life? Send me a comment,
email, direct message or smoke signal, and let’s all discover how each one of
us is truly exceptional!
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